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The Silver Lining

I’ve only been absent for a few days now, and I’ve received messages about when a new video will be available.  It’s not that I’ve stopped.  Quite the contrary.  I’ve still been here, crafting together new recipes, polishing old ones to a new shine, editing videos and trying my best to perfect my craft altogether.  It’s a work in process but one that I thoroughly enjoy.  No matter how much my feet hurt or how pruned my fingers are, at the end of the day, I experience a strange mix of utter fatigue and happiness.  It’s what I love to do, what I’m passionate about.  I cannot even begin to convey the joy and pleasure I extract from a sugary Facial of Classic Syrup for a Cake or Lavender Lemonade or the incredible thrill I absorb from watching simple Groceries morph into something delicious.  It is the entire journey + reward of yummies that fuel my itch to get into that Kitchen each and every day and roll into a downy bed of Flour or immerse myself entirely in the bath of an intoxicating fermented Soup. 

So I am particularly sad to share the news that I’ve recently been click-bombed several times on my channel.  This typically means that someone purposely and repeatedly clicked on ads with the full intent to disable an account.  I was reinstated for a short while only to fall victim to it, yet again.  I’m fairly certain I know what caused it but this does nothing to impact the decision that falls beyond my control.  Needless to say, the decision stands …indefinitely.  I struggled with it all week and reached the decision that I will continue making videos.  With or without outside help.  This is via encouragement of both my Friends and Family.  I won’t allow something as trivial as this to discourage me from the path that I know that I was meant to be on.  I’ve never been so sure about anything else.  It’s my dream and I know that if it’s meant to be, that it will be realized.  I won’t ever give up.

So today, I bring to you smiles, energy, encouragement, and a new video!!

Spicy Crab Soup

  • Broth = 8 c Water + 2 pieces of Kelp + handful of large Anchovies
  •  6-8 prepared Crab (Cut into Chunks)
  • 3 tb Fish Sauce
  • 2 tb Sesame Oil
  • 3 tb Red Pepper Flakes
  • 1/4 c Korean Radish (Mu)
  • 1 ts Ginger
  • 1 Onion
  • 2 Jalapeno Peppers
  • 3 Garlic Cloves
  • 2-3 Green Onions
  1. Bring your Broth to a boil for about 20 min.  A Tea Strainer helps here.  (Discard the Kelp as it tends to get a bit bitter but you can reintroduce your Anchovies to the Soup if you’d like).
  2. In a large Pot (the same one you’ll be cooking your Soup in), toss together all of your ingredients, save the Broth and Green Onions.  Allow it to sit and mingle (or at least until your Broth is ready).
  3. Pour in your prepared Broth, bring your Soup to a fierce bubble (for an additional 15-20 min or so), then sprinkle with your Green Onions.

Remember, don’t allow negativity to rent space in your head for free and don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.  If they love you, they’ll provide support and encouragement.  Sometimes, (like this past week for me) things can seem awful, but all bad and dark things eventually come to the light.  I tend to lean on the Melancholy side as it stands so it’s an effort to be mindful of such things, but just keep doing you.  “You only miss the shots you don’t take,” I was told by someone I love who loves me very much.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive, lending me positive energy and allowing me to wallow because eventually, I always get up =D

Love always,
Your Squishy Monster =D

Duck, Duck, Goose

I know you’re not suppose to, but I like to feed them my sandwich crumbs anyways.  Technically, you’re not suppose to do a lot of things and why not indulge in a bit of weekday rebellion?  lol–there are signs posted everywhere and I doubt these fat Birds need any extra nosh anyways, but I’ve been in a particularly jolly mood all day and wanted to share what I could =D

This little guy wasn’t even scared.  I think I could have bundled him up on my lap if I’d wanted to, lol.

The early breaths of Spring are glorious.  It’s pre blistering, suffocating heat where just stepping outside steals your breath away and when you come in and you’re not entirely blotched with angry hills of Mosquito bites.  For me, this is what perfect days are made of.  Basking in the glinting Sun, absorbing both Vitamin D and Happiness, surrounded on a Blanket Island amassed with a stockpile of food (enough to feed a small army or a very hungry Squishy Monster). 

The view from my Blanket.  A Weeping Willow Tree, much like the one that guarded over Pocahontas (in the Disney version) =D

This little guy 😉

This made me laugh so hard!  Baby in tow, Tattoos, Beer, Goldfish Crackers, and a Snake that some other persons Kid is petting.  I must’ve gotten “Picnic Priorities” wrong 😉 I ran into him when I was walking to the Restroom.  He jumps up and tells me to “watch out!”  I pause and he has this grin on his face and proceeds to tell me that his “snake is hanging out.”  He told me that he likes to come to the Park and “walk his Snake.”

Eh, that’s his prerogative, I suppose.  Mine is to live life the best way I know how which somehow gets deranged into mashing as much as possible into a single moment (which will  The Park was a sight for sore eyes.  It allowed me to shed the things that inevitably get wound up as you’re pressed day in and day out of what all is expected from you–like a Winter Coat.  One of the things that were so astounding for me in Hawaii were the many shades of Green there were.  I feel like I spend so much of my time indoors because of Work or time spent in the Kitchen that being softly nestled on Green Grass, gazing at the Blue Sky, lit by the Golden light of the Sun, and feeling such gentle warmth envelope me with breeze tickling my face was all something I feel as if I’d momentarily forgotten about.  So I hope that everyone is able to go out and “smell the Roses” as they say.  Even if only for a moment =D

Spreading Sunshine & Smiles
Your Squishy Monster

Pick Me Up!

is what ‘Tiramisu’ literally means.  Why shouldn’t it?  There’s such a bountiful supply of all things creamy, moist, silky, and decadent in it.  Plus, the spiked Espresso can’t hurt.  With Spring so pungent in the air, it’s time like this that I love to dust off my Trifle dish and douse a variety of Sponges with dark dribbles of Liqueurs, dolloping generous spoonfuls of pale Creams or Puddings.  Tiramisu reanimates such ordinary ingredients to Spring new life into a dish that encourages people to smile when brought out just for them.  That’s what Spring is all about now, isn’t it?

Mom and Pops were all smiles when I brought this out for Dinner last night.  Here’s how I make smiles:

Video Recipe (with Eggs)

  • 6 Yolks
  • 3 tb Sugar
  • Zest of one Orange/Lemon
  • 2 c strong, cooled Espresso + 2 tb Rum (or Madeira, Vin Santo, Amaretto, Brandy, Kahlua, Frangelico, Marsala, etc).
  • 1 lb softened, room temperature Marscarpone Cheese + 3 tb Sugar
  • 6 Egg Whites + 1/2 ts Cream of Tarter (beaten to stiff Peaks)
  • 35-40 Savoiardi (crisp Lady Fingers)
  • Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
  1.  Whisk your Yolks, Sugar, and Zest in a heat proof bowl over a double boiler (few inches of simmering water, not touching your bowl, fitted on top).  You want to achieve a pale Blonde color.  It’s ready when it’s nice and thick, think the consistency of loose pudding.  This essentially makes a Zabaglione.  Allow this to cool.
  2. In a separate bowl, dribble in your Espresso and Liquor, set aside (this will be for your Cookie bath)
  3. In another bowl, cream together your Marscarpone Cheese, Sugar, and Zabaglione: don’t over beat the Cheese or it will get stiff on you.
  4. In another bowl (yes, there are a lot of bowls involved, but be forgiving as this Tiramisu comes bearing the gift of deliciousness)! beat your Egg Whites/Cream of Tarter until they reach stiff peaks and stand up on their own.
  5. Fold your Meringue (beaten Egg Whites) into your Marscarpone
  6. To assemble: 
  • dip your Lady Finger’s into your Espresso/Liquor, arrange onto the bottom of a Trifle Bowl, Baking Dish, etc
  • Generously nudge in your Custard
  • Dust with lots of Cocoa
  • Repeat

Recipe (with no Eggs)

  • Keep everything the same except, omit the Zabaglione and Meringue mixture.  Instead, sub with 2 c Heavy Cream.  Whip it just as you would the Meringue with 3 tb Sugar and fold into your Marscarpone mixture.  From there, dunk your Cookies into your Espresso/Liquor bath, dollop over your Marscarpone/Cream mixture, dust with lots of Cocoa and repeat. 
    • I find the Eggs lend a richer, more full bodied Tiramisu experience but I understand that lots of people are worried about eating raw Eggs so if you’re concerned about your quality of Eggs, def. go with the option you’re most comfortable with.

Allow your Tiramisu to chill in the fridge as long as you can resist.  The longer it sits, the better.  (Overnight is fantastic).

There are so many possibilities when it comes to (well, anything really) but this Tiramisu really shines with an introduction of new and exciting flavors.  Try Lemon, or Chocolate (using a Chocolate Zabaglione), Hazelnut, Strawberry…a Lemon Blueberry Tiramisu sounds divine!  Pink Lemonade Tiramisu?  Pumpkin, Cinnamon Dolce…my gosh the possibilities are endless!

I hope that you make this and smile–or better yet, inspire everyone that you make it for to smile too!

Smiles & Tiramisu,
Your Squishy Monster 🙂

Mama’s Meal

If you’re anything like me, according to (yourself), Mom is the best.cook.ever.  I think it has something to do with the eternal connection you feel to your Mother as her Child.  It’s food she cooked with her hands to feed you.  There’s something in Korean called ‘손맛’ which literally means ‘hand taste,’ meaning, whoever prepares the food melts deliciousness into it with their hands.  I think it has something to do with the fact that with Korean Food, effectually everything is mixed by hand.  For me, there’s something almost internal and intimate that blooms each time I sit before a gigantic bowl of wilted Napa Cabbage to smash together into those familiar ruby leaves, snugly pressed together.  It’s by doing it that I realize that my Korean Ancestors have all done the same before me.  It’s something that just cannot be achieved via mechanical methods.  It’s something that requires ‘손맛!’  Mama rarely has leisurely, unfilled time to step into the Kitchen and work her magic so when she does, it’s well, it’s MAGICAL!

Somehow she must have sensed my terrible dining experience from the night before (she did not), and called to tell me that she had prepared dinner.  Dinner is one of those daily events in life that I most look forward to.  It’s like my reward for the days work, lol.

She made

Korean Seaweed (Sea Mustard Soup) with Mussels aka Korean Birthday Soup (it’s popular for Birthdays and Women dealing with Postpartum–it’s in my Notebook to do a video)

I think this is Mullet

Roasted Seaweed and Spicy Squid Jerky

Re-hydrated and stir-fried Korean Eggplant

and sweet Bell Peppers and English Cucumbers to dip into Red Pepper Paste

These are the types of meals that I can remember eating when Mama had the time to cook when we were little.  At home (and most Korean households), there is always Rice, Fish, Veggies, a Hot Soup, and Kimchi.  (We also had Rice and Kimchi, both not pictured).

They’re special to me because of Mama’s ‘Hand Taste,’ LOL

Warm & Happy with Mama’s Meal

Your Squishy Monster

Damn Sea Monkey’s

When I was about 9 or so, I remember secretly creeping away to read “Seventeen.”  I always felt like I was doing something I wasn’t suppose to do.  Masturbation and Makeup probably weren’t Mom’s two favorite “M” words but that is not the point of this story.  If you flipped all the way back, there was a page of advertisements toting the benefits of the newest Magical Face Cream or Miss Cleo who claimed she could tell you your future (would she have been able to tell me the fate of my poor Sea Monkeys) 😦
What captured my attention was the 2 x 2 box that screamed “Real Live Sea Monkeys!!!”  Crazy haired Alien Squiggles that looked like they’d be your best friend and provide you with hours of entertainment.  9 year old me fell for it.  I’ve since never purchased anything else from a Catalog or Infomercial, lol.

This weekend, it wasn’t Sea Monkey’s that disappointed.

Nowadays, I feel like new hot spots are sprouting up all over town.  Facebooker’s seem to sing the praises of this one or that or friends will positively insist that you just must go to a particular one.  Recently, I went to such a place where the it factor bled from the local Art work draped on the walls and super shiny Retro Booths.  Beyond that, I got my entire meal served to me on Styrofoam Plates, where the French Fries cost $8.  What I got were limp, sagging Fries delivered in a Styrofoam Cup, over salted and so greasy that the entire outside of my cup was slippery.

Last night, I had Chinese at this place that everyone has been raving about.  “Best General Tso’s Chicken!” said the local publication that surveys all things new and cool.  Oh General Tso…I feel like to most people, that’s what they identify as Chinese Cuisine.

I got the Spicy Crispy Shrimp for Dinner.

I almost regret not taking the “before” picture, because I promise you, it wasn’t much better than this:
Eeek, I almost feel like this is inappropriate to share because it’s just that offensive :/

Bland Fried Rice with mushy Veggies that implied it had been sitting in a steamer all day, just waiting to be scooped up, losing patience.  Fried Baby Shrimp (that tasted strangely of Bacon) sitting in a sauce, so severely oily that it made the Shrimp soggy, not “Crispy” as it had promised.  The yellow bits above are all pools of oil–deep enough for stupid Sea Monkey’s to swim in.

Now, I take responsibility.  I had the choice not to go but I’m a firm believer that nothing good ever happens on an empty Stomach.  Also, your Mama is always right.  Never judge a book by it’s cover.  The facade of it all was so plush and elegant but the food derails you to a dirty place.  I had been so busy that day that it was a “stupid Granola bar has to suffice right now” kind of day that I scarfed the whole thing down before I even noticed.  This was neither Spicy, Crispy, Shrimp (more like firm, deep fried Bacon bits), or Chinese.  This was an off brand T.V. Dinner, badly impersonating an actual Meal served at a nice sit down Restaurant.

I suppose I’m odd in the fact that I get impacted by my food experiences.  The rest of the night left me with an awful taste in my mouth.  You know how when you’ve eaten something terribly yucky, a fuzzy film of Nausea sticks to you and won’t loosen it’s grip and travels down to the pit of your Stomach and makes you feel queasy and uneasy? 

Needless to say, my main goal for the weekend now is to find something yummy for Dinner.

That was my soap box moment, lol.  I just had to tell somebody!! 🙂

I hope that everyone else has had a delicious weekend so far!

Your Squishy Monster

Deep Fried South

If there’s danger in leaving me to my own devices and coloring everything Pink, there’s an equal probability that I want to deep fry it all too =D

As a Kid, I actually abhorred anything deep friend (except French Fries because French Fries are awesome like that).  I remember going to a Seafood Joint with my “White” Cousins and hearing them whisper “Yea, I guess Koreans don’t like Fried Batter,” as I busily disrobed my baby Shrimp of its outer crispy clothing.  Quite the contrary, folks!  If ever in Korea, I hope that you have the pleasure of perusing through any busy street corner and frequenting the variety of Street Vendors there.  You can have Ddukbokki on a Stick (hell, anything on a Stick) and everything is served piping hot in a New York Minute.  There’s this great exhilarating rush that’s present in Korea that echoes that high energy and spontaneity of New York.  I believe that Koreans have their Frying down to an Art.  Virtually anything can be artfully cushioned in a light and crispy shell that delivers a most satisfying crunch.  Goguma (Korean Sweet Potatoes), Squid, and boy is Korean Fried Chicken delish…the possibilities are only narrowed by ones own creativity and imagination!!  So it wasn’t far fetched for me to identify Fried Pickles as something potentially genius.  Here in town, everyone takes Fried Pickles as seriously as when the “Hot” Krispy Kreme sign lights up.  Best served extra crunchy, straight out of its bubbling oil bath with a serious dish of cool and creamy Ranch to dunk them in, they should have a firm bite from its oh-so-crispy shell, still warm in the center, and dripping with lots of the creamy, flecked white stuff =D

Fried Pickles

  • 1 jar of Dill Chips
  • 1 c cold, whole Buttermilk+ dash of Hot Sauce
  • 1/2 c Flour + 1/2 c Cornstarch + 1/4 ts Cayenne, 1/4 ts Smoked Paprika, 1/2 ts Garlic Powder, 1/2 ts Onion Powder + lots of cracked Black Pepper
  • 2 Eggs
  • 2 c Cornmeal, Breadcrumbs or Flour
    • Soak your Chips into your cold Buttermilk mixture for at least 15 minutes in the Fridge.
    • Drain and dredge your Chips individually in your dry Flour/Starch mixture
    • Shake off excess and dip your Chips individually in your Egg
    • Coat your wet Chips into your Cornmeal, Breadcrumbs or Flour
    • Lay in a single layer and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes before frying.
    • Fry until golden brown (and floating to the top) in oil that has reached 350.
      • Try not to overcrowd the pan and work in batches.  Serve immediately with Ranch.


  • 1/2 c Sour Cream
  • 1/4 c whole Buttermilk
  • 1 ts dried Dill
  • 2 ts fresh chopped Chives
  • 1 ts Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 ts Onion Powder
  • S & P

Armed with an arsenal of all the good stuff to eat, I’m sure I’ll have lots of fun and yummies for the weekend–it’s what I hope for y’all too!

Your Squishy Monster ^.^

Chasing Sunsets

Lots of times, I know I should be doing one thing but I find myself resisting and doing something completely different and unrelated. 

I should have been running errands, cleaning the house, editing, calling or writing people back and etc but I found myself driving towards the Sunset, anxious to snap a mental picture of such fleeting beauty (that I seem to altogether miss almost always) and then, snap an actual picture of it.

Since the full moon last week, I’ve been in a funny mood.  There’s something to be said about the swollen yellow tinged Moon that stares down so intensely at you as if watching your every mood.  Am I paranoid?  Perhaps.  My bff used to work in the ER and tells me that Full Moons would see an influx of Crazies coming in for all sorts of things.  Also, “Full Moons Make Me Crazy”

I’ve had Lana Del Rey on repeat, driving aimlessly away from my original destinations and then, there are times like today when I feel compelled to drive towards the glittering Sun, waving Goodbye.  I’m a strange creature who is so afraid of the dark, yet stubbornly nocturnal, dreading bed time as if I really believe that I’ll miss out on something if I go to bed.  There’s a reason that they say “nothing good ever happens past two.”  I know this.  Adolescent me knows that only too well!  (lol)

I woke up the other morning, having been chased by Zombies in my dreams.  I also have these recurring dreams where everything is greatly slanted.  Like a stadium where the seats are screwed on a great diagonal from low to high but in my dream, everything is like that and you even have to walk that way to abide by the order of that realm.  In that realm, apparently everything is slanted.  Yesterday morning, I woke up crying.  Real tears that saturated my pillow case.  I woke up realizing that I was crying but not knowing why.  Of course, the curious Squishy Monster that I am Googled it.  Sometimes, Google is my only friend.  The aforementioned dreams are all connected to some sort of repressed trauma, reviving itself in my sub conscious in an attempt to resurface in reality and meet some sort of resolution.  I am unaware past that point.

However, I’m anticipating tonight’s Dreams.  I’m always fascinated by my own Dreams.  They’re like Movies that I didn’t have to pay a ticket for.

Here’s to hoping I don’t have any dreadful ones tonight!

 Your Squishy Monster

I scream, You scream

2 slight variations of basically the same Ice Cream Cake.  The first, top cake is featured in my video below, the second is one I made for my baby brother’s birthday in February.  Both are equally delicious.

For the Birthday Ice Cream Cake, I followed the same method but replaced the Thin Mint Crust for a Cinnamon Toast Crunch (cereal) Crust and incorporated a ton of Oreos instead of Thin Mints and stood up cookies on the edges for an Oreo border.

Here’s how to make the easiest Ice Cream Cake ever!

  • 1 tub of softened, Ice Cream/Gelato of your choice
  • 2 package/box of Cookies
  • 1 1/2 c crushed Cookies + 6 tb melted Butter
  • Melted Chocolate or any other Garnish you’d like 
  1. Mix your crushed Cookies and melted Butter and press them onto the bottom of a parchment lined baking pan
  2. In a large bowl, mix together your softened Ice Cream and Cookie Crumbles (I used about 10-12 but how many you want depends on you).  This is also your opportunity to add in any other extracts or flavorings you’d like.
  3. Slide in half your Ice Cream mixture onto your prepared Crust (no need to bake, the freezer will take care of it).
  4. Drizzle on melted Chocolate between your first and second layer of Ice Cream.
  5. Smooth on your second/top layer of Ice Cream and liberally load up with any remaining Cookie crumbles or Chocolate.
  6. Freeze for at least 3 hours and enjoy with whipped Cream and sprinkles 😉

I find myself mindlessly staring into an open Fridge (often)!  On those days that I spy a lonely container of plain Ice Cream, I feel like a boss when I can turn it into something so much more.  It looks pretty impressive for not really being so and the combinations are endless.  I love experimenting with different Cereals, Cookies, Ice Creams, flavorings, etc. 

Frozen Banana + Chocolate?
Nutella with crushed Hazelnuts?
Key Lime with Fresh Strawberries?
Pineapple Sorbet with Coconut Curls?

Once you open yourself up to the possibilities that a Grocery store or even your own Kitchen can bring, it’s crazy fun to see what your mind and hands can come up with. 

Makin’ old things new.

Your Squishy Monster =D

Pink Deviled Easter Eggs!

cos that’s just how I roll.  lol, kidding (though if allowed, I may just make everything Pink).

Mama used to make colored deviled Eggs for us when we were Kids.  It was something that she kind of stopped doing as we got older.  This year, I decided to bring ’em back.  I reason that there’s no sense in stopping a perfectly great tradition just become the word “adult” got in the way. 

You can make a tray of bright and vibrant Limes, Corals, Baby Blues, etc.  I decided to use up the Beet that looked so lonesome in the back of our fridge and cooked them off to use the liquid that they produce; a deep blushing Fuchsia, that when Eggs are dunked into are transformed into a lovely Pink vehicle for creamy, deviled Eggs 😉 Similarly, you can also use Hibiscus Flowers.

Perfectly Boiled Eggs:

  • You want to begin with cool water from your tap and have at least 1-2″ of Water covering the surface of your Eggs.  You also want to heat everything together (do not dip Eggs into pre-boiled Water). It also greatly helps with peeling later if you add in about 1-2 ts Salt. When it reaches a ferocious bubble, turn off the heat altogether and clamp the lid on your pot.  Allow it to sit there (idly) for 15-20 min (no heat).  Drain, rinse in cold water, and peel your cool or warm (not hot) Eggs.

“Deviling” Eggs:

  • 6 Egg Yolks
  • 2 tb Mayo
  • 1 ts Mustard (any kind will do)
  • 1/2 ts Sugar
  • 1/2 ts white Vinegar
  • S & P

You can always just spoon the mixture into your “Egg Cups” too.  Garnish with smoked Paprika, bits of Chive, Parsley, Pepper Rings, Crumbled Bacon, Cheese, Olives, Dill, Cucumber, Infused Oil, Capers, Salmon, Shrimp, etc.

Happy Easter & Happy Eatin’!

Your Squishy Monster =D